1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,880 This programme contains very strong language from the outset and throughout. 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,160 3 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,000 4 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:16,480 5 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,440 6 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:21,520 7 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,040 Cardi, hurry up. 8 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,000 Don't forget your clean jocks. They're in the top drawer. 9 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,560 Don't forget your clean jocks. They're in the top drawer. 10 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:29,960 (QUACK) How about this? 11 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,360 (QUACKING) 12 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:32,000 Find this sexy, do you? 13 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,400 Find this sexy, do you? 14 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,160 I'm looking forward to this break. 15 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,400 (CHUCKLES) (QUACKING) 16 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,000 You look like a fucking eejit, you know that? 17 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:40,920 You look like a fucking eejit, you know that? 18 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:44,120 Do you know, I just want this weekend to be special for us, you know. 19 00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:46,760 Mm. Like a reset, eh? 20 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,000 Yeah. 21 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:51,680 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) WOMAN: Lesley! Are you in there? 22 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,720 23 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:56,000 Who are you? 24 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:56,920 Who are you? 25 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,240 Carol. Who the fuck are you? 26 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,320 Mum?! (GASPS) 27 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,400 Oh, thank God! 28 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:04,000 Glen?! Glen! 29 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,320 Glen?! Glen! 30 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,560 Glen, he's in here. W-Who's Glen? 31 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,280 You have to help us. 32 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,880 We've lost everything. 33 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,000 And the wedding's in two days. 34 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:12,880 And the wedding's in two days. 35 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,360 (WAILS AND SOBS) 36 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:16,640 (WHISPERS) What the fuck? 37 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,120 Money (That's What I Want) 38 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:24,360 We should've known a man called Diego wasn't a wedding planner. 39 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,440 So, they cleaned you out then, did they? 40 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:28,000 They left my art, thank the Lord. 41 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:28,520 They left my art, thank the Lord. 42 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:32,160 Could be worth a fortune, so, er... (CLEARS THROAT) 43 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,760 ..silver linings. 44 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,000 That...that's lovely. You made that, did you? 45 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:36,520 That...that's lovely. You made that, did you? 46 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,120 Yeah. He does bespoke. I sat for that. 47 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:40,560 It's called Sated - 48 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,800 brackets - After Multiple Orgasms. 49 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:44,000 Lesley, will you help us? 50 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,840 Lesley, will you help us? 51 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:49,200 Will you help save our wedding? 52 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:51,800 Mum, I'd love to help, but I can't. 53 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:52,000 Me and Carol, we-we've got plans. We've got important plans. 54 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,920 Me and Carol, we-we've got plans. We've got important plans. 55 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:58,600 We're going away together. But we've got guests on their way. 56 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,000 One of my friends is coming all the way from Greece. 57 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,000 One of my friends is coming all the way from Greece. 58 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:04,480 And it's a pink full moon, which means fresh start. 59 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,960 We can't miss that. We'd have to wait another whole year. 60 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,000 We can't, can we, Glen? No, Paloma, love. 61 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,720 We can't, can we, Glen? No, Paloma, love. 62 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:13,400 I can't...I can't plan a wedding in t-two days. 63 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,800 She's unbelievable! 64 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:16,000 I think it's nice. She's come all this way to ask you for your help. 65 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,680 I think it's nice. She's come all this way to ask you for your help. 66 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:21,680 But...but, S-Sugar, s-she's not even invited me 67 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,720 to the f-f-fucking wedding. 68 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,960 And my s-s-s-s-stammer gets worse when she's around. 69 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,920 I'm not...I'm not doing it. If she's come to you for help, 70 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,000 your Mum, I worry that you'll regret not helping her, if you don't- 71 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,160 your Mum, I worry that you'll regret not helping her, if you don't- 72 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,600 But she only fucking comes when she fucking wants summat. 73 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:38,360 Mums and dads are shit. 74 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,000 What's the deal with Paloma? Cardi was only six 75 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:40,600 What's the deal with Paloma? Cardi was only six 76 00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:42,160 when his dad died, right? 77 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,640 Then it's just Paloma and Cardi on their own. 78 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,320 Then she's fucked off when he was 17. 79 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:48,000 What? She just fucked off? 80 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:48,920 What? She just fucked off? 81 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,000 Yeah. Said she was going on a cruise with some fella 82 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,680 but she never came back. Aw, poor Cardi. 83 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:56,000 Mm.Cardi, we can always go away on another weekend, like. 84 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:56,800 Mm.Cardi, we can always go away on another weekend, like. 85 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,480 You didn't even like her, Carol. No, she's a wanker. 86 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,880 And a fucking wedding, as well. 87 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,000 We'll help you. Fucking we'll help you. We'll all help you together. 88 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,720 We'll help you. Fucking we'll help you. We'll all help you together. 89 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,760 90 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,520 (KNOCKS ON CAR) Ooh. 91 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:17,040 Fine. I will help you o-organise your wedding. 92 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,000 (GASPS) B-But I am doing you a favour 93 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:20,720 (GASPS) B-But I am doing you a favour 94 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,720 at m-mine and my wife Carol's inconvenience. 95 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,640 So, please refrain 96 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,000 from c-commenting on the following: 97 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:28,640 from c-commenting on the following: 98 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,840 my looks; my body; 99 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,760 whether I was responsible for you getting stung by a bee 100 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,000 when I was n-nine; 101 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:36,480 when I was n-nine; 102 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,560 my m-m-m-m... 103 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:40,960 Marriage. 104 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,960 Thank you, Carol. My marriage. 105 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,000 Oh, Lesley, I knew you wouldn't let me down. 106 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,480 Oh, Lesley, I knew you wouldn't let me down. 107 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,960 (GIGGLES) And I hear you. 108 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,000 And I respect the boundaries that you are nailing between us. 109 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:52,760 And I respect the boundaries that you are nailing between us. 110 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,600 Just quickly - while you're here 111 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,160 and seeing as you're gonna be best man... 112 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,000 Lavender and ergot tincture. For that stutter. Numbs the tongue. 113 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,480 Lavender and ergot tincture. For that stutter. Numbs the tongue. 114 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:04,680 Just one drop. And, darling, we both know... 115 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,240 the bee sting... 116 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,840 it was your fault. 117 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:08,000 118 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,840 119 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,760 (BABY CRIES) 120 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,840 What the fuck? Mum! 121 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,000 (CRYING CONTINUES)Liz! What the fuck are you doing?! 122 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,840 (CRYING CONTINUES)Liz! What the fuck are you doing?! 123 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,240 (MUSIC OFF) Oh! Hi, babe. How was it? 124 00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:21,960 Can you not hear him? 125 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,000 Sunny's crying! Oh, yeah, I'm sleep-training him. 126 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:24,640 Sunny's crying! Oh, yeah, I'm sleep-training him. 127 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,560 All the books say just let 'em cry. 128 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,320 I used to leave you down the end of the garden, shut the door, 129 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,960 big GandT, dance around to Bananarama. 130 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,880 One night, went to bed, forgot all about you. 131 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,080 Well, I say bed. Passed out on the couch. 132 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,840 Woke up about 2:00, realised what had happened. 133 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:40,000 You were fine. I'm lucky to be alive! 134 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,320 You were fine. I'm lucky to be alive! 135 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,560 Yeah, you are! 136 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,000 Gratitude. 137 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:48,360 Gratitude. 138 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:51,440 OK, so you two, Ash and JJ, you're on cake. 139 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:54,840 Sugar and Meena, you're on Mum's wedding dress.And a suit for Glen. 140 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:56,000 Can I have you up on your feet, please? 141 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:56,640 Can I have you up on your feet, please? 142 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,920 I'm gonna give you a good saging for focus. 143 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,440 Carol, can you do the decorations? Me and Mum'll check out the venue. 144 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,000 Could you not just get married at the Crow's Nest? 145 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:04,600 Could you not just get married at the Crow's Nest? 146 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,960 I'm not getting married in a pub. It's bad karma. 147 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,520 What sort of decorations are we talking, like? 148 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,320 Oh, scented candles. 149 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,000 Something, um...calming. 150 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,520 Something, um...calming. 151 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,320 Sandalwood, cedar. 152 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:16,920 Love and light. 153 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:20,000 It's a bit more fags and despair around here, isn't it? 154 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:20,160 It's a bit more fags and despair around here, isn't it? 155 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,400 Oh, Carol. 156 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,560 That is a very bad energy. 157 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,000 Mum, can we stop reading Carol's energy, please?(SNIFFS) 158 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:28,440 Mum, can we stop reading Carol's energy, please?(SNIFFS) 159 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,640 I'm gonna find a dog, take it for a long walk. 160 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,840 Right, Vin, you're on the refreshments, OK? 161 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:36,000 (SNIFFS) Fucking smell. 162 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,000 (SNIFFS) Fucking smell. 163 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,280 (TENSE MUSIC) 164 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:48,320 Oh, fuck! 165 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,200 Oh, my God. Wait! 166 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,680 (LOCK CHIRRUPS) 167 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,720 168 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,360 (HORN HONKS) 169 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,840 (TYRES SCREECH) 170 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,760 (HORN HONKS) 171 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,160 (TYRES SCREECH) 172 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:19,760 (HORN BLARES) 173 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,000 Fuck off. 174 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:24,080 Fuck off. 175 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,280 (HORN HONKS) 176 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,480 Oh! (TYRES SCREECH) 177 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:34,960 (GROANS AND WHIMPERS) 178 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,000 Hey, stop. Look, I've seen you! 179 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:40,520 Hey, stop. Look, I've seen you! 180 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:44,400 (GRUNTS)Carol, stop! It's me. It's Keith. It's your husband! 181 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,000 (PANICKED GASP) 182 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:48,240 (PANICKED GASP) 183 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,240 This is where you want me to get married?It's beautiful. 184 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:56,000 A tourist hotspot.A muddy field next to a septic tank? 185 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:56,400 A tourist hotspot.A muddy field next to a septic tank? 186 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,840 You're the one who didn't want to get married in a church. 187 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,280 I can do a very reasonable price. 188 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:04,000 It is all that were av-v-v-vailable at s-s-s-short notice. 189 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:04,840 It is all that were av-v-v-vailable at s-s-s-short notice. 190 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,760 Alright, look, I'll phone Carol. 191 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:09,360 She'll make it nice. She's got an eye for artful decoration. 192 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,760 193 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:12,000 (BEEPING TONE) (SIGHS) 194 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,800 (BEEPING TONE) (SIGHS) 195 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:17,200 Oh, the fucking signal here's shite. Look, are you taking it or not? 196 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,640 I've got people who need a site to bury their horse. 197 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:20,000 Look, horse graveyard or Crow's Nest? 198 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,640 Look, horse graveyard or Crow's Nest? 199 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:27,880 Fine! The Crow's Nest. But it will need a good saging. 200 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:28,000 Yeah. 201 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,120 Yeah. 202 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,240 203 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,240 (LOCK CHIRRUPS) 204 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,560 (EXPLOSIVES BANG AND CRACKLE) 205 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:56,920 (MUSIC FADES) 206 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,960 What the f.... 207 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:00,000 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 208 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,840 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 209 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:04,840 (COUGHS) 210 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,600 What's this? 211 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,320 (SINISTER MUSIC) 212 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,640 (EXPLOSIVES BANG AND CRACKLE) Arh-ah! Arh! 213 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,000 Paloma, a couple of options. What do you think? 214 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,360 Paloma, a couple of options. What do you think? 215 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,080 (CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY) 216 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,280 It's all we could find at the charity shop. 217 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,000 And, look, we've got Glen a really nice little suit.Lesley.Yep. 218 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,600 And, look, we've got Glen a really nice little suit.Lesley.Yep. 219 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,080 Have you seen these? ASH: Hello! 220 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,280 OK, so, listen, we didn't manage to get 221 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,320 a proper wedding cake, I'm sorry. But... 222 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,000 We did find this. A big blue bake. It's got a Spitfire on top of it. 223 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,200 We did find this. A big blue bake. It's got a Spitfire on top of it. 224 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,800 SUGAR: Why's it got 90 on it? Let's just say I knew a man 225 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:55,040 who knew a man whose dad died this morning. 226 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:56,000 Right, we'll m-m-make it work. How about the decorations? 227 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,760 Right, we'll m-m-make it work. How about the decorations? 228 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,760 W-Where's Carol? I need my decorations, Lesley. 229 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,000 Have you seen her, Sugar? Not since this morning, no. 230 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:04,760 Have you seen her, Sugar? Not since this morning, no. 231 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:09,720 (BEEPING) AUTOMATED VOICE: Sorry, the person you're calling is unavailable. 232 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,000 Shit. Her phone's off. Perhaps she's been kidnapped. 233 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:12,880 Shit. Her phone's off. Perhaps she's been kidnapped. 234 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,000 So, what the fuck happened? 235 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,440 What do you mean? What do I mean?! 236 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:20,000 I've come all the way from Greece. 237 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,360 I've come all the way from Greece. 238 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,160 I haven't seen you for ten years, Carol. The last time I saw you, 239 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,600 you were throwing up in a fishbowl by the side of our bed. 240 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,000 Then - poof! - now you're here. I am so sorry, Keith. 241 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,040 Then - poof! - now you're here. I am so sorry, Keith. 242 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,920 Do you know how worried I was when you vanished? 243 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,040 Look, to be truthful with you now, Keith, 244 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,000 I woke up the morning after and I said to myself, 245 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:36,280 I woke up the morning after and I said to myself, 246 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,280 "We've made a fucking terrible mistake" and, you know, like, 247 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,040 I just couldn't face it. So, you just left? 248 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,000 Bam. No note. No explanation. 249 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:44,440 Bam. No note. No explanation. 250 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,280 No, I tried writing. What happened, you run out of ink(?) 251 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,640 No, I couldn't remember your address, so I just sent it to Keith in Paxos. 252 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,000 We weren't even in Paxos! It was Naxos! 253 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,720 We weren't even in Paxos! It was Naxos! 254 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,320 Oh, fuck, I was drunk. 255 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,040 Keith, I'm so sorry. I just didn't know what to say. 256 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:00,000 The truth, Carol. 257 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,080 The truth, Carol. 258 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:03,680 The truth is what you say. "I'm sorry, I've made a mistake. 259 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,960 I didn't wanna marry you. I've gone back home." 260 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,000 See, when I got back here, it seemed so far away. 261 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:08,080 See, when I got back here, it seemed so far away. 262 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,280 Then I thought, "He'll probably end up annulling the wedding anyway." 263 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:15,120 Keith, we barely knew each other. Carol, I thought you were dead. 264 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:16,000 I held a fucking vigil for you. 150 people came. 265 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,520 I held a fucking vigil for you. 150 people came. 266 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:20,760 They closed the banana boat out of respect. 267 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:24,000 The taverna had a wake for you. They spelt your name out in feta! 268 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:24,240 The taverna had a wake for you. They spelt your name out in feta! 269 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,040 Oh, I feel fucking terrible. 270 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,080 I'm fucking ashamed of myself. 271 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,840 Oh, I don't believe this. 272 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,600 I'd finally got to a place of peace. 273 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:32,000 Now it's like I'm right back there. 274 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,640 Now it's like I'm right back there. 275 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:36,200 How did you track me down? 276 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:37,840 I didn't track you down. 277 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,000 I'm just here for my friend Glen's wedding. 278 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:40,320 I'm just here for my friend Glen's wedding. 279 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,640 You know Glen?I taught him how to water ski a year ago. 280 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,000 For fuck's sake. 281 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:48,640 For fuck's sake. 282 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,120 Wait, how do you know Glen? 283 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:53,800 Are you going to this wedding? 284 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,000 It's cancelled. The wedding's been cancelled. 285 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:56,840 It's cancelled. The wedding's been cancelled. 286 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,960 What?It's just happened. I don't really know what happened. 287 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,360 They got robbed of everything, that's what it was. 288 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,000 You're better off knocking into Hawley and calling Glen, anything like that... 289 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,840 You're better off knocking into Hawley and calling Glen, anything like that... 290 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:09,280 And it's been called off. The wife, Paloma, she's after cancelling it. 291 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,960 She's a fucking nasty bitch. Awful fucking energy. 292 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,920 I'm gonna call him.No, no, don't... Don't do that, don't call. 293 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,520 I don't believe you. I'm gonna call him.No, no. 294 00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:20,000 You can't phone him.What the fuck?! I can't let you go to that wedding! 295 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:20,560 You can't phone him.What the fuck?! I can't let you go to that wedding! 296 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:24,400 Are you out of your fucking mind? No, I'm not out of my mind. You cannot go to that wedding! 297 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,000 I thought it had been cancelled. 298 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,000 No. 299 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:28,640 No. 300 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,120 Why are you wearing a wedding ring? 301 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:36,000 Why are you wearing a wedding ring, Carol? 302 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,440 Why are you wearing a wedding ring, Carol? 303 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,800 Did you get married again while you're still married to me? 304 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,280 For fuck's sake. Who is he? 305 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,000 You tell me who he is now! 306 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,800 It doesn't matter! Look, just tell me. 307 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:52,000 You owe me that, after all these lies, all this time. 308 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:56,800 You owe me that, after all these lies, all this time. 309 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,880 Well, is it just us two, or is there a third? 310 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:00,000 A harem of men you've left heartbroken across the globe, 311 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,440 A harem of men you've left heartbroken across the globe, 312 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,120 a hive of- Oh, his name's Cardi! 313 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,640 His name's Cardi, 314 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:08,000 and he's Paloma's son, and he is going to the wedding. 315 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:11,200 and he's Paloma's son, and he is going to the wedding. 316 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,320 Keith, I am begging you now. 317 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,000 I know that I have wronged you, I know I have, 318 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:16,760 I know that I have wronged you, I know I have, 319 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,960 but please, please, don't go to the wedding because... 320 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,240 ..because he loves me very much. 321 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,000 And I love him too. 322 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:24,920 And I love him too. 323 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,560 Please. 324 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,800 (DOOR OPENS) Dude! What are you fucking 325 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,760 belling me up every five seconds for 326 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,560 when you know I'm coming down anyway? 327 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,000 Thanks, man. I'm glad to see you, Vinnie.Right. 328 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,080 Thanks, man. I'm glad to see you, Vinnie.Right. 329 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:43,160 Oh, my God, I'm in a real crisis. 330 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:47,400 Listen, get a fucking wriggle on cos I've got Cardi's mum wanting refreshments here. 331 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,000 Paloma's back? Yes. 332 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,200 Paloma's back? Yes. 333 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:51,320 God, I haven't seen that smoke show for years. 334 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,600 Get a fucking wriggle on with whatever this is 335 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,000 or I'm gonna piss off. Alright I've got a... 336 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:56,080 or I'm gonna piss off. Alright I've got a... 337 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,520 I've got a problem. Yeah. 338 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,200 And her name's Ella. 339 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,000 Oh, for God's... No, but she's not like anyone else. 340 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:04,040 Oh, for God's... No, but she's not like anyone else. 341 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,760 She's...She's got a fucking PhD in economics. 342 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,800 She's got a first from Oxford. 343 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,920 And all she cares a shit about is my Mr Timber. 344 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:12,000 Oh, no(!) The woman's insatiable. 345 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,240 Oh, no(!) The woman's insatiable. 346 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,280 She's got me on call 24/7. 347 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,840 She wants it on the floor, on the table, 348 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,000 against the window, through the fucking window. 349 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,080 against the window, through the fucking window. 350 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,960 Mm.The trouble is, I'm getting feelings for her, you know. 351 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,400 Mm.I mean, I look at her and I just think...(SIGHS) 352 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,000 ..all I wanna do is stroke her hair and cook her an egg. 353 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:31,400 ..all I wanna do is stroke her hair and cook her an egg. 354 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:34,120 You just wanna cook her an egg. What if that's all I am to her? 355 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,000 I wanna be appreciated for more than just my dick, right? 356 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:36,600 I wanna be appreciated for more than just my dick, right? 357 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:39,400 What if we're not shagging, she's not interested in me? 358 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:42,680 Maybe that's all she wants from me. You know "I shag, therefore I am." 359 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,000 How the fuck can I help you out here? 360 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:44,720 How the fuck can I help you out here? 361 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,320 Well, because you're always banging on about feelings, aren't you, 362 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:51,080 and how it stops your dick working? Hurtful. 363 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,000 (PHONE PINGS) Jesus. 364 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:52,920 (PHONE PINGS) Jesus. 365 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,880 Oh, fuck, another nude pic. Look. 366 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,720 Dude, she's-Yeah, she's gonna want a cock shot now. 367 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:00,000 Don't send her a cock shot. She wants to see it. 368 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,080 Don't send her a cock shot. She wants to see it. 369 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,520 She wants to see it now! Don't send her a dick pic. 370 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:07,600 Ask her summat nice.Good idea. Fucking whatever.Keep it simple. 371 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:08,000 Can we just go for dinner tonight... Fucking hell...darling? 372 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,160 Can we just go for dinner tonight... Fucking hell...darling? 373 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,640 Darling(?)Well, she's seen it, she's not replying. 374 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:16,000 Give her a- Why's she not fucking replying? 375 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,720 Give her a- Why's she not fucking replying? 376 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:21,040 Give her a minute! She's probably putting her tits away, in't she? 377 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,000 She's gone offline!Calm down, you fucking lunatic. Listen... 378 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:24,760 She's gone offline!Calm down, you fucking lunatic. Listen... 379 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:29,080 I think we better just recalibrate a little bit. 380 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,680 (BEEPING TONE) Fuck! Still nothing! 381 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:32,000 Couldn't see her car anywhere, 382 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,160 Couldn't see her car anywhere, 383 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,360 but Liz saw her driving this morning. 384 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:38,040 I did, proper fast. But I just thought, 385 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,000 "Well, that's Carol." Should we call the police? 386 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:40,320 "Well, that's Carol." Should we call the police? 387 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,520 They won't do anything, unless it's been 24 four hours or more.Right. 388 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,920 Let's spread out and search Hawley. Check the roads, 389 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,000 we need to check the travellers' site, Jim's farm. 390 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:48,160 we need to check the travellers' site, Jim's farm. 391 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,960 I'll text Vinnie. Yeah, text Vinnie. 392 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,520 I'll wait here and ring if she gets back.Right. 393 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,240 But what about the wedding? Mum? 394 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,240 Right, come on. 395 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,280 Still nothing. 396 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,000 I should never have texted that. I should've sent her the dick pic, 397 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,800 I should never have texted that. I should've sent her the dick pic, 398 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,400 gone round later, up against the wall and... 399 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,920 I could've stroked her hair while she was sleeping. 400 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,000 This is why I don't do it. You're hurt now and she's disappointed 401 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,360 This is why I don't do it. You're hurt now and she's disappointed 402 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:17,600 cos she hasn't seen your fucking horrible todger.(PHONE PINGS) 403 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,000 Fucking hell, here we go. Hang on. 404 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:20,200 Fucking hell, here we go. Hang on. 405 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,960 "We can eat after we've shagged." 406 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,720 Look.Oh, yeah. "After we've shagged". 407 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,800 Really happy for you.Oh, my God, she can see the man behind the cock. 408 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,000 Yeah, dude, I'm chuffed to bits for you. 409 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:28,720 Yeah, dude, I'm chuffed to bits for you. 410 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:32,560 I'll send a picture now. A cock pic. It doesn't have to be right now. 411 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,760 Fuck's sake.We've sorted that out. (PHONE PINGS) 412 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,000 Who's this now? Oh, shit. 413 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:36,760 Who's this now? Oh, shit. 414 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:39,800 Where are you going? Fucking Carol's gone missing. 415 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,640 Honestly, dude, you disgust me. 416 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,000 Carol! Carol! 417 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,760 Carol! Carol! 418 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,400 419 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,000 She's not gonna be hard to spot. She dresses like a tropical fish. 420 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,080 She's not gonna be hard to spot. She dresses like a tropical fish. 421 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,120 CAROL! 422 00:15:58,320 --> 00:15:59,880 CAROL! 423 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,880 I'll go and have a look round here. 424 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:07,000 Lads. Have you...have you seen Carol?She hasn't walked past. 425 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:08,000 This morning? You might've missed her.Impossible. 426 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,360 This morning? You might've missed her.Impossible. 427 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,840 We've been playing since Monday. 428 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,560 You look like you could go for a little nap. 429 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:16,000 The only thing I could go for is a pair of sixes. Give me them dices. 430 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:16,120 The only thing I could go for is a pair of sixes. Give me them dices. 431 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,000 Will you let me know if you see her? 432 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,600 You're mental. 433 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:24,000 Carol? 434 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,640 Carol? 435 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,360 Carol? 436 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,000 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) 437 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,000 that keeps me waiting 438 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,480 that keeps me waiting 439 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,240 440 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,920 Carol? Have you lot seen Carol? 441 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:40,000 You know, Carol? Carol Dennings. 442 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,800 You know, Carol? Carol Dennings. 443 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,200 Lesley! 444 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,760 Look at this! (GASPS)You're supposed to be looking for Carol. 445 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:48,000 Have you asked anyone?I thought you were asking.For fuck's sake. 446 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,640 Have you asked anyone?I thought you were asking.For fuck's sake. 447 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,520 Oh, Lesley. (GROANS)Come on. 448 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:56,000 Come on. I'm sorry. It's important. She's my wife! 449 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:56,760 Come on. I'm sorry. It's important. She's my wife! 450 00:16:56,800 --> 00:17:00,120 Well, of course it is, but I just feel it in my bones 451 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,760 that she's gonna be alright. It's all about you, isn't it? 452 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,000 I don't know why you're so desperate to get married tomorrow. 453 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,680 I don't know why you're so desperate to get married tomorrow. 454 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,880 Because a pink moon symbolises- Symbolises fuck all, Mum. 455 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,520 Fuck all. 456 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:17,320 Forgive me for being a lover, Lesley, and finding THE ONE. 457 00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:19,240 He's not the one though, is he? 458 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:20,000 He's not even number two. He's number f-f-f-fucking four. 459 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,000 He's not even number two. He's number f-f-f-fucking four. 460 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,720 He may well be my fourth husband, 461 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,000 but am I a criminal for untangling myself 462 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:28,880 but am I a criminal for untangling myself 463 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,560 from situations that offer me absolutely nothing? 464 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,400 Maybe you should take your own advice 465 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,000 and t-try harder at making them work then. 466 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:36,040 and t-try harder at making them work then. 467 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,840 Then you wouldn't be fannying about trying to get married 468 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,160 under some s-s-special f-fucking moon. 469 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,800 (SIGHS) 470 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,400 I know what this is. 471 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,720 Are you jealous of Glen? 472 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,440 That's what this is, isn't it? 473 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:52,000 Because, you know, it is very common 474 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,600 Because, you know, it is very common 475 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:57,000 to have feelings of sexual longing towards your mother.Is it? 476 00:17:57,040 --> 00:18:00,000 Because, after all, mine was the first vaginal canal 477 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:00,120 Because, after all, mine was the first vaginal canal 478 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,400 you'd ever been inside. Get in. 479 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:06,920 Has he even been on a paddle board? 480 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,000 Oh, I think he's more of a land animal himself. 481 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,760 Oh, I think he's more of a land animal himself. 482 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,520 Is he any good at water sports? 483 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,960 That's a bit personal now, isn't it? 484 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,000 I'm just trying to understand why you replaced me, Carol. 485 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,920 I'm just trying to understand why you replaced me, Carol. 486 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,480 How long have you been married to him? 487 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,000 Four years. 488 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:24,240 Four years. 489 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,240 And you're happy? Oh, not all the time now, 490 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,600 but I guess that's what... I guess that's what real happiness is. 491 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,000 You don't... You don't always realise that it's there, you know. 492 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,240 You don't... You don't always realise that it's there, you know. 493 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:36,680 Yeah. 494 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,880 Yeah, fuck you, Carol. Where are you going, Keith? 495 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:40,000 Driving to Hawley. It can't be that hard to get back. 496 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,240 Driving to Hawley. It can't be that hard to get back. 497 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,160 I need a fucking drink!No, don't do this, Keith. Please don't! 498 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,440 I haven't done anything, Carol. Because of you, 499 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:48,000 I haven't done anything with my entire fucking life. 500 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,080 I haven't done anything with my entire fucking life. 501 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,400 While you've been falling in love with some bloke 502 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,560 who wouldn't know a kayak from a fucking...canoe! 503 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:56,000 I don't think a lot of people know the difference 504 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,520 I don't think a lot of people know the difference 505 00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,280 between a kayak and a canoe. You're missing the point. 506 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,040 You know there was another woman? 507 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,240 Maria. 508 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:04,000 She ran the cave tours Monday to Thursday. Had hair like linguine. 509 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,840 She ran the cave tours Monday to Thursday. Had hair like linguine. 510 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:11,240 She wanted me, and still, I did nothing cos I was waiting for you. 511 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,640 I'm so sorry, Keith. Never took that holiday to France, 512 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,840 in case you came back to the island. Yeah. 513 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,280 Never learnt pottery. Yeah. 514 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,000 Never told my dad that I loved him. 515 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:20,400 Never told my dad that I loved him. 516 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,280 I don't think you can put that on me now. 517 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,440 How do you know, Carol?! You're not inside my head!Ah, now, Keith, 518 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,680 I know you're angry and you've every right to be, 519 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:28,000 but, Jesus, you can't just waltz in here and blow up me life, like. 520 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,760 but, Jesus, you can't just waltz in here and blow up me life, like. 521 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,200 What if you didn't go to the wedding? What if I give you money? 522 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,840 I won't scamper away from my friend on his wedding day, 523 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:36,000 like you did to me. And I'm telling Cardi. 524 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,800 like you did to me. And I'm telling Cardi. 525 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,040 Oh, no, no, no. I can't let you do that, Keith! 526 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,600 Uhh! What the fuck?! 527 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:44,000 (LOCK CHIRRUPS)Hey, my car keys! I can't let you ruin my life. 528 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:47,080 (LOCK CHIRRUPS)Hey, my car keys! I can't let you ruin my life. 529 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,960 (GRUNTS) Yes! 530 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,720 531 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,720 Carol! (ENGINE STARTS) 532 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,000 533 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:00,440 534 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,040 the pen planning... 535 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,280 Fuck! 536 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,000 Oh, Jesus. I don't know what all the hoo-ha's about. 537 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,560 Oh, Jesus. I don't know what all the hoo-ha's about. 538 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,680 She's only been gone two minutes. 539 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,640 He's treating her like a fucking Victorian wife. 540 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:16,000 Keeping her on a tight leash. 541 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,080 Keeping her on a tight leash. 542 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,200 What happened to liberation? 543 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,840 What happened to fucking female empowerment? 544 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:24,000 Did Emmeline Pankhurst go through all that shit, 545 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,080 Did Emmeline Pankhurst go through all that shit, 546 00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,280 having her mates chucked under horses and that, 547 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,520 so a hundred years later, a fucking woman 548 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:32,000 can't go out on her fucking own? 549 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,440 can't go out on her fucking own? 550 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,120 (SIGHS) Saw a film about it. 551 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,560 Suffragettes. 552 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,000 Thingy's in it. The fit one. 553 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:40,640 Thingy's in it. The fit one. 554 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:43,080 Fucking great rack. Fucking great. 555 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,120 556 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,320 (TYRES SCREECH) 557 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,680 Carol! Carol! 558 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:10,360 Shit. 559 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,800 (BABY GRIZZLES) Poo-poo-poo-poo! 560 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,960 (GRIZZLES) 561 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:31,080 What, you're still not talking to me? 562 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:32,720 (PHONE RINGS) 563 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:36,000 JJ? 564 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,320 JJ? 565 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,120 Oh, fucking hell. OK. 566 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,680 Right. No, I'm on my way. 567 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,400 Do you want me to have him? No, I'll take him with. 568 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,000 Sugar, it's just a bit of music. 569 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,200 Sugar, it's just a bit of music. 570 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,240 (SIGHS) You just don't get it, do you? 571 00:21:56,280 --> 00:22:00,000 It's not about the music. I trusted you, and you ignored it. 572 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:00,440 It's not about the music. I trusted you, and you ignored it. 573 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:03,240 Things have changed since you had me, Mum. I've changed. 574 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:07,200 And I don't want you pulling your crazy old shit with my son. 575 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:15,560 Call me if Carol comes back - if you can manage it. 576 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,320 (BABY CRIES) 577 00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:23,360 Yeah. Dead?Yeah. 578 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:24,000 JJ... Hold on. 579 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,400 JJ... Hold on. 580 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,960 Alright. VINNIE: What's t'plan? 581 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,440 OK, so, we haven't got long before the sun goes down. 582 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,160 I've checked all the hospitals, she's not in any of 'em. 583 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:40,000 That's because she's fine, alright? 584 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,520 That's because she's fine, alright? 585 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,880 Where are we gonna search first? Dead Man's Forest? 586 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,040 C-Can we not call it D-D... 587 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,000 Why have you got a gun? In case it's a kidnap situation. 588 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,280 Why have you got a gun? In case it's a kidnap situation. 589 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,400 She's not been kidnapped, Jim! 590 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,880 No, I'm saying if SHE'S kidnapped someone 591 00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:55,840 and we have to talk her down. 592 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:56,000 She might have turned! Jim. Jim. Point it down. 593 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,200 She might have turned! Jim. Jim. Point it down. 594 00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,800 (ALL TALK AT ONCE) She hasn't kidnapped anyone for ages. 595 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:04,000 Argh! Argh! Just the... Shut the fuck up! 596 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:04,560 Argh! Argh! Just the... Shut the fuck up! 597 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,960 Get a fucking shift on then. This way. Dickheads. 598 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:12,000 We're going right first. Jim, keep the fucking gun pointing down. 599 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:12,040 We're going right first. Jim, keep the fucking gun pointing down. 600 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,000 Carol! 601 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,080 (ALL SHOUT FOR CAROL) 602 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,680 (MUSIC PLAYS FAINTLY) 603 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:23,360 Hello? 604 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,000 Hello? 605 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:28,080 Hello? 606 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,960 (APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS) 607 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,080 Oh, my God! Thank God you're back! 608 00:23:35,120 --> 00:23:36,000 I was just about to go and start handing these out. 609 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,840 I was just about to go and start handing these out. 610 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,680 What's going on? Where is everybody? Where'd you get that photo? 611 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,000 The fucking state of me.Everyone's looking for you. They're worried. 612 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:44,800 The fucking state of me.Everyone's looking for you. They're worried. 613 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,440 You've been gone for hours. 614 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,240 Can I get a drink, Liz? Yeah, yeah. 615 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,160 Can I get a whisky, please? Yeah. 616 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,400 (SOFTLY) Fuck's sake. 617 00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:00,000 Thanks. 618 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:00,920 Thanks. 619 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,520 620 00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,160 Carol? 621 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:06,560 Carol? 622 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,000 Carol? 623 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,040 (PHONE RINGS) 624 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:11,600 Hello? 625 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,440 Wh... Hang on a minute. Cardi! 626 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,000 Mate, she's at t'Crow's Nest! Is she hurt? Is she alright? 627 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,280 Mate, she's at t'Crow's Nest! Is she hurt? Is she alright? 628 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,920 Mate, she's fine. She said she bumped into someone. 629 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,600 She bumped into someone? I-I-I dunno. 630 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,000 Wh... Doesn't make any- 631 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:24,240 Wh... Doesn't make any- 632 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,200 (GUNSHOT) Fucking 'ell! Jimbo! 633 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,840 It's alright. It's just a squirrel. Oh, thank God. 634 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:32,000 Come on. Fucking idiot. 635 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:32,880 Come on. Fucking idiot. 636 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,960 Cardi's into boats? He is. Big into boats. 637 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,520 Shit. 638 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:43,400 Fuck me. Right, go away. I'll deal with it. 639 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:45,920 You alright, Davros? 640 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,960 Well, that's just fucked, innit? Do you think it's McCann? 641 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:55,040 No, I just fancied an indoor firework display, Vincent! 642 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:56,000 Of course it's fucking McCann! Yeah. 643 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,880 Of course it's fucking McCann! Yeah. 644 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,720 Look, I'm showing you this as a favour, right?Yeah. 645 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,000 The tides are turning, Vincent. 646 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:04,080 The tides are turning, Vincent. 647 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:06,160 So, I need you tell me if you hear anything. 648 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,320 Because I swear, if you throw me under the bus in any way, 649 00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:12,000 then I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get my own fucking bus 650 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:12,280 then I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get my own fucking bus 651 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,960 and I'll run you over again and again until your skin's like carpaccio. 652 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,640 What's carpaccio? 653 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,000 It's thinly-sliced beef, delicious. 654 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:20,120 It's thinly-sliced beef, delicious. 655 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,840 Sounds nice. I think you'd have more friends 656 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,840 if you weren't so fucking terrifying. 657 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,400 I don't need friends, Vincent. 658 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:28,000 I just need you to keep your mouth shut. 659 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:28,720 I just need you to keep your mouth shut. 660 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,800 Understood? Yes. Thanks for the warning. 661 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,840 Can I have a lift- No! 662 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,000 663 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:36,520 664 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:44,000 through my window today... 665 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:44,880 through my window today... 666 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,240 Hello? 667 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,320 Anyone? 668 00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:52,000 669 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,000 670 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,920 671 00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,600 672 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,000 673 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,800 674 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:08,000 I'm sensing you're sad. 675 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,360 I'm sensing you're sad. 676 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,000 (SIGHS) Why are people so fucking disappointing? 677 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,000 (SIGHS) Why are people so fucking disappointing? 678 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:22,080 Isn't that the question for the day? (CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY) 679 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:24,000 Don't think you're meant to do that in pubs any more. 680 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,360 Don't think you're meant to do that in pubs any more. 681 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,320 Oh, you're alright. I'll display the safety warning. 682 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,560 Go on then. What's happened? 683 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,160 My wife. (SNIFFS) 684 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:40,000 I haven't seen her for ten years. 685 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,640 I haven't seen her for ten years. 686 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,400 I thought I'd never see her again actually, and then today... bam. 687 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,000 She's back. I don't even live here. 688 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:48,040 She's back. I don't even live here. 689 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,520 And, yeah, I was hopeful... 690 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:53,240 ..just for a second. 691 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,000 Mm.I thought that it would mean maybe we would be together. 692 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,280 Mm.I thought that it would mean maybe we would be together. 693 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,360 Meant that she'd missed me after all these years. 694 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:04,000 Turns out she hasn't missed me at all. 695 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,760 Turns out she hasn't missed me at all. 696 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,040 And her life was better off without you in it. 697 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,680 Exactly. 698 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,440 Maybe you should just go home. 699 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:19,040 Yeah, but, well, she married someone else, he doesn't know about me. 700 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:20,000 He needs to know the truth, right? 701 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,080 He needs to know the truth, right? 702 00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:23,400 Oh, I've never been a fan of truth, me. 703 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,760 She lied though, to both of us. 704 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:28,000 Truth's only good if you can do something with it. 705 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,600 Truth's only good if you can do something with it. 706 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,040 It's wrong, what she did. 707 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:41,800 You don't need a lift anywhere, do you? I'm heading back to Hawley. 708 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:43,560 Yeah, that would be great, actually. 709 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:44,000 I was looking for my son's wife, but this is the last pub on my list 710 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,000 I was looking for my son's wife, but this is the last pub on my list 711 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,520 and she's clearly not here. 712 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,000 Carol, her name is. 713 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:52,040 Carol, her name is. 714 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,680 (TENSE MUSIC) 715 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,320 Did you say Carol? 716 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,120 Into My Arms 717 00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:16,000 Can I get another one, please? 718 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:16,080 Can I get another one, please? 719 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,840 Cardi!You fucking idiot. You had me shitting myself. 720 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,320 I'm so sorry. 721 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:24,000 I need to talk to you, Cardi. Carol, I don't wanna hear it. 722 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,560 I need to talk to you, Cardi. Carol, I don't wanna hear it. 723 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:27,560 I should've stood up for you with my mum. 724 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,000 She's not changed at all, she can fuck her wedding. 725 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:32,000 Carol. Greek Keith?! 726 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,920 Carol. Greek Keith?! 727 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,840 Oh, hiya, mate. Congratulations and all that. 728 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,160 Far out, man. How was your flight? Look, not now. 729 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,000 Look, Carol. You don't have to do this.Course she does. 730 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,840 Look, Carol. You don't have to do this.Course she does. 731 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,960 You said the truth is only useful if you can do something with it. 732 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,720 What can he do with it? 733 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,000 Do with what? What truth? 734 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:48,640 Do with what? What truth? 735 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:50,400 Keith told me everything. 736 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,800 Carol's already married - 737 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,000 and she has been the whole time - to Greek Keith. 738 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,200 and she has been the whole time - to Greek Keith. 739 00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:01,320 Yeah, they got married ten years ago and then she upped and left him. 740 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,440 What's she on about, Carol? 741 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,680 Carol? 742 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:11,040 I wanted to tell you, I did. 743 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:12,000 It happened over a weekend of 744 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:12,600 It happened over a weekend of 745 00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:14,840 a fucking an ouzo-soaked holiday, like. 746 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,960 I mean, I don't even remember, it's all a blur, like. It meant nothing. 747 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,960 If it meant nothing, why keep it a secret? 748 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,000 Cos I got scared, didn't I, Keith? 749 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:23,960 She said she just couldn't face it. 750 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,000 So... So, you just stayed married to him? 751 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,600 So... So, you just stayed married to him? 752 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,960 I am so, so sorry. 753 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,240 W-W-Why didn't you tell me? Tell me what, love? 754 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:36,000 Sorry I got stuck with Davey there. What's going... What's going on? 755 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,720 Sorry I got stuck with Davey there. What's going... What's going on? 756 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,520 Cardi, I know. I know, I should have told you 757 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:44,000 first thing this morning, when I seen Keith.This morning? 758 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,440 first thing this morning, when I seen Keith.This morning? 759 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:51,360 No, Carol, y-y-y-you should have told me w-w-when we got m-m-married! 760 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,840 Either time. I was gonna tell you, like, but... 761 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:56,600 It just that, y'know, I buried it 762 00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,640 because the longer it went on, the harder it got and then I just... 763 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:00,000 I got caught up in the whole lie of it.What lie? 764 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,920 I got caught up in the whole lie of it.What lie? 765 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:05,480 Where you told me I were the love of your life, where we took vows? 766 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,000 But you are the love of my life. Is this why you're always acting 767 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:08,280 But you are the love of my life. Is this why you're always acting 768 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:11,240 like I'm not good enough? Hey, come on. We'll go outside. 769 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,480 This has nothing to do with you not being good enough. 770 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,000 You are good enough! Lesley... 771 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:16,280 You are good enough! Lesley... 772 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:17,680 I just didn't know what to do. 773 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:20,240 But you always know what to do, Carol. 774 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:23,600 You're always bossing me about, telling me what to say, 775 00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:24,000 what to wear, how to eat. 776 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,440 what to wear, how to eat. 777 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,560 How could you not know what to fucking do? 778 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:31,080 Lesley.My name isn't Lesley! Alright? It's Cardi! 779 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,400 And what? W-What do you have to say, Mum? 780 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,720 I... I just think you're being a bit harsh. 781 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:40,000 A bit harsh? You're the one who's dobbed her in, in the first place. 782 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,080 A bit harsh? You're the one who's dobbed her in, in the first place. 783 00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:44,640 I thought he had a right to know. 784 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,080 Since when have you thought I had a right to know anything? 785 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,000 You've never explained anything to me, ever! 786 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,600 You've never explained anything to me, ever! 787 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,880 Well, that's not true. Yes, it fucking is. 788 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:54,560 You've never told me anything. 789 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:56,000 And now you want me to know about Carol, 790 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:56,480 And now you want me to know about Carol, 791 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,280 so you can act like you care about me.Of course I care. 792 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,240 Where the fuck have you been then?! 793 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:07,720 You weren't here when Nigel died. 794 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:09,480 You weren't here when we got married. 795 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,000 I know for a fact you had something to do with Weasel dying 796 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:12,200 I know for a fact you had something to do with Weasel dying 797 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:15,480 when I was six, and you were b-barely there when my... 798 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:17,560 ..d-dad died! 799 00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,000 So don't...don't just come in now and blow up my life 800 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,080 So don't...don't just come in now and blow up my life 801 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,680 and then try and tell me what to do with the pieces. 802 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:28,000 All that stuff's in the past. 803 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:28,760 All that stuff's in the past. 804 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,080 The past fucking matters! 805 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:32,840 It matters to me! 806 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,960 It's my life! 807 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,000 All of it! 808 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:36,800 All of it! 809 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:44,000 You left because you didn't fucking like me. 810 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,400 You left because you didn't fucking like me. 811 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:52,000 Just be honest. 812 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,160 Just be honest. 813 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:54,960 Both of you. 814 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,000 Cardi, come outside with me for a little bit. 815 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:00,720 Cardi, come outside with me for a little bit. 816 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:03,240 No, man, I don't wanna go outside. 817 00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:06,040 Do you know what, I'm going outside. 818 00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,960 It's not that you fucked up, Carol. 819 00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,480 It's just that you made me believe - 820 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:23,640 for the only time in my entire life - 821 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:27,120 that I was someone's first choice. 822 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,080 And it's just a fucking lie. 823 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:32,000 (SOMBRE MUSIC) 824 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:32,720 (SOMBRE MUSIC) 825 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:12,000 Hiya. 826 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,120 Hiya. 827 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,160 I don't wanna talk about it. 828 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:16,880 OK. 829 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:18,520 That's fine by me. 830 00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:26,000 Oh, for fuck's sake, Mum! It's for the bad energy. 831 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,000 I've just found out my wife is m-m-married to someone else. 832 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,120 I've just found out my wife is m-m-married to someone else. 833 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,320 I'm a... I'm allowed a bit of bad fucking energy. 834 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,000 (SIGHS) I'm not talking about yours. 835 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:36,400 (SIGHS) I'm not talking about yours. 836 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:40,800 I'm talking about his. 837 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:42,920 Well, this is Dad's spot, not yours. 838 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:51,040 Cardi, I didn't leave because I didn't like you. 839 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,320 I left because I was ashamed. 840 00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:00,000 You didn't have that stutter before your dad died. 841 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:00,800 You didn't have that stutter before your dad died. 842 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,800 You didn't struggle. Not when he was around. 843 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,880 But after he'd gone, you got it. 844 00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:11,160 And there was nothing I could do to help you. 845 00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:15,000 And I just got so angry... 846 00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,760 ..that your dad always could help you. 847 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:22,480 And none of the books tell you that it is alright 848 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,000 to feel jealous that your husband got to die perfect 849 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,640 to feel jealous that your husband got to die perfect 850 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,400 and you have to live on and fuck it up... 851 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:32,000 ..over and over again. 852 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:32,640 ..over and over again. 853 00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:35,720 And by the time you were 17, I- You just left? 854 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:40,000 I did. 855 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:40,400 I did. 856 00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:43,680 Got my reasons. 857 00:34:43,720 --> 00:34:45,440 I was frightened. 858 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,000 I was sick of the effort of it all. 859 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:48,360 I was sick of the effort of it all. 860 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:51,480 So I left...for a bit. 861 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,520 And when I came back you had... 862 00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:56,000 ..you had all these friends. 863 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:56,760 ..you had all these friends. 864 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,800 You had Vinnie, you had Ashley, you had JJ. 865 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,000 And it was like, you just... didn't need me any more. 866 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,600 And it was like, you just... didn't need me any more. 867 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:07,560 I did need you. 868 00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,000 If I could go back in time and stay... 869 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,840 If I could go back in time and stay... 870 00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:17,800 ..I would. 871 00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:20,000 I wouldn't leave you. 872 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:20,920 I wouldn't leave you. 873 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,600 I'd see it through. 874 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:26,760 I didn't. 875 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:28,000 And nothing I can say can fix it. 876 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,520 And nothing I can say can fix it. 877 00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:41,360 JIM: One bomb or two? 878 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,000 Spitfires didn't have bombs. I KNOW that. 879 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:44,800 Spitfires didn't have bombs. I KNOW that. 880 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:50,160 It's called suspension of disbelief, you shithead. It's art. 881 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:52,000 Sugar. 882 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,040 Sugar. 883 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:54,680 What now? 884 00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:57,240 (EXHALES HEAVILY) I just wanna say I'm sorry. 885 00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,680 It won't happen again, I promise. 886 00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:00,000 I have changed, you know. I'm...I'm... 887 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,400 I have changed, you know. I'm...I'm... 888 00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:06,640 I'm drinking, like, 30% less than I was when you was a kid. 889 00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:08,000 (SCOFFS)And I'm a teetotaller, like, every other Sunday. 890 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,760 (SCOFFS)And I'm a teetotaller, like, every other Sunday. 891 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,880 I just wanna be a better mum, you know, like... 892 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:15,840 like the mum you're becoming. 893 00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:16,000 (PENSIVE MUSIC) 894 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:17,480 (PENSIVE MUSIC) 895 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,920 Oh, well...thanks. 896 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,680 I appreciate that. 897 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,360 (SOFTLY) Have a word. 898 00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:48,000 Look, I want you to know I'm gonna file for a divorce. 899 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:48,320 Look, I want you to know I'm gonna file for a divorce. 900 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,600 To be honest, I should've done it years ago, when she left. 901 00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:56,000 It was never a marriage between me and Carol. 902 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:57,040 It was never a marriage between me and Carol. 903 00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:58,680 But you two... 904 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,120 Look, I can tell it's the real deal. 905 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,920 So, I hope it works out for you, I really do. 906 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:13,680 Thanks. 907 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,280 Right, well, best be off. 908 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,000 I'm parasailing tomorrow afternoon in Santorini. 909 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:20,040 I'm parasailing tomorrow afternoon in Santorini. 910 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,000 The clearest waters you'll ever see. 911 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:26,080 To be honest, mate, I'm not really into w-w-water sports. 912 00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,000 That's a bit personal. 913 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:28,120 That's a bit personal. 914 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:41,920 Are you in love with me, Carol? 915 00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,120 I don't know if you are. 916 00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:52,000 I think you love me like you love trifle... 917 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,920 I think you love me like you love trifle... 918 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:57,640 ..or that...that film wit' kids in it. 919 00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,560 ET. Sound of Music. And... 920 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:00,000 I...want...someone - 921 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,360 I...want...someone - 922 00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:04,040 I deserve someone - 923 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:06,880 who is IN love with me... 924 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:10,640 ..who wants me as I am... 925 00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:14,440 ..even if it means putting up with all my little... 926 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:16,000 ..foibles and faults, you know? 927 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:19,080 ..foibles and faults, you know? 928 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:24,000 So, what are you saying, like? 929 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:24,880 So, what are you saying, like? 930 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,080 I don't know. 931 00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:30,360 I don't know. 932 00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:31,800 933 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:32,000 934 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:35,240 935 00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:39,960 936 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,360 937 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,920 Not everything should stay the same forever.No, it shouldn't. 938 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:48,000 Maybe some change is good, you know. 939 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,440 Maybe some change is good, you know. 940 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,520 Mm. Like when you were blonde. 941 00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,160 Oh! Ohh! 942 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,000 God, I wish I could be blonde again. Mm. 943 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:56,040 God, I wish I could be blonde again. Mm. 944 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,320 Why can't you? It's bad for your hair.Oh. 945 00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:00,360 Snaps it. Yeah. 946 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:02,360 Hey. 947 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,000 We fucking love you. Do you hear me? 948 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:04,640 We fucking love you. Do you hear me? 949 00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:09,800 Every last inch of your hairy body. (CHUCKLES) 950 00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,680 (SNORTS) Hirsute body. 951 00:39:11,720 --> 00:39:12,000 Tis. Tis. 952 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,440 Tis. Tis. 953 00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,120 (DISTANT CLATTER) Oh, bollocks. 954 00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:20,000 (GROANS) 955 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:20,760 (GROANS) 956 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:24,640 Shit. 957 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,000 Listen, if there's anyone out there, 958 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:28,360 Listen, if there's anyone out there, 959 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,080 I'm coming out! 960 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,160 I'm not fucking about now. 961 00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,120 Come on, fucking show yourself. 962 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:44,000 Come on. 963 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:44,560 Come on. 964 00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,560 That's it. That's... Fuck it, I'm coming... I'm... 965 00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:52,000 Pwww! (Shit.) Coming down there. 966 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,600 Pwww! (Shit.) Coming down there. 967 00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:56,840 (SINISTER MUSIC) 968 00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,080 What the fucking hell's that all about? 969 00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:00,000 Oh, fuck. (SNIFFS) 970 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:00,800 Oh, fuck. (SNIFFS) 971 00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:02,800 Course. 972 00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:07,440 MCCANN'S VOICE: 'You, Vincent, are the shit on my shoe.' 973 00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,120 (FOREBODING MUSIC) 974 00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:21,040 Why don't you go back to whatever fucking pub 975 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,600 you left your mammy blowing a tramp in? Argh! 976 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:24,000 I want you to fix me up a fight. 977 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,200 I want you to fix me up a fight. 978 00:40:25,240 --> 00:40:27,120 (RAUCOUS LAUGHTER) 979 00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:29,080 You only need a bit of fucking coaching. 980 00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,200 Who's gonna coach me how to do all that? 981 00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:32,000 Ta-da! 982 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:32,320 Ta-da! 983 00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:35,360 I'm gonna turn you into a fucking killing machine.Uhh! 984 00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:37,840 Well, I can turn him into a star. 985 00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:39,880 Fight! (CROWD YELLS) 986 00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:46,200 987 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:48,000 988 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,080 989 00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:55,440 990 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:56,000 991 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,520 992 00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,640 993 00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:06,640 994 00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:11,360 is just about gone... 995 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:17,320 Subtitles by Sky Access Services www.skyaccessibility.sky